I haven't gone Trick or Treating in an age. Haven't really celebrated the holiday itself in just as long. Luckily, I now have an excuse: Fatherhood! This year, I got to experience my first Halloween through the eyes of being a Dad. I had been looking forward to the night very excitedly, and for the most part, it did not disappoint!
My daughter chose her own costume. She helped make it too. She also chose how we were to carve the pumpkin, but got uncharacteristically squeamish with the pumpkin guts. When it came time to go Trick or treating, I was beaming. After walking her through the steps a couple of times, she got the idea, and I had to rush to keep up. However, her costume 'slowed her down' so, she took it off. Couldn't get her to wear it, or to understand that their is a price to pay to get candy. Speaking of which, I exercised my right as a Dad to invoke the Snickers tax on her bag of candy. Hey, she's gotta learn sometime.
Have you ever been in the situation where you dare strangle the next person who says, "they grow up so fast", when you've just spent the past week in the same surroundings, trying to convince the little one that she really doesn't want to pretend to be a baby? I'm all for cute and adorable babies, but it doesn't count as cute when your supposedly leaving the terrible two's behind. Lately, its been all *carry me* *feed me* *toilet? what's that? I have a much more convenient system for relieving oneself attached to me already!*.
Of course, when threatened with the true life of a youngling, namely that of crib time and banana pudding (hmm, that seems to eerily apply to uh, older folks too) suddenly, she's all grown up. I know it's just another phase in a long series of kiddie phases. And, granted, there are cute Kodak moments throughout the experience, but they are moments to be lived in and shared, not to be framed and composed from on the wrong side of the lens.
I know that she will get older, and more independent. Eventually. I know that with every passing day, I bring her to the inevitable path of her own life. And I know, she'll walk out on that path as fully as prepared to take on life as I have been able to prepare her. But, looking out over that prospective future, it seems a long way off before I'll claim that, 'she grew up fast'.
Time Out! My daughter has been disdainfully ignoring this command for the past month. We'd be all like, stop jumping on the kitty-kat, okay, time out! And she'd be all, yeah right. Kitty bounces. You should join in. Then we'd get all serious and firmly place her butt on the chair. What ensued afterword would rival Henry Kissinger in terms of negotiations. We'd end up on the German end of the Versailles Treaty.But no more! We decided (the wife informed me, and I am to 'carry out') that when time-out was called, time-out would be achieved. Victory! Alas, like most war-plans, it works better on paper. It works out like this: Time out is called. We take her hand, direct her to the chair, and start a 2 minute timer. If she gets off the chair, or attempts to talk her way out of it, the timer restarts. We (by we, I mean 'I'), do this as long as it takes (preferably before she graduates college) to get a solid 2 minutes in. So far time out has lasted an average of 45 minutes. It's okay, cause I really have no life outside of this. I mean I used too. I think. Hey, what's talking to people like?
Gotta go, I think the cat's being used as a trampoline again.
As the stay at home daddy, I do most of the shopping. As such, I really don't like commercials geared to women, advertising the latest cleaning product. That's for another blog post. Another aspect of my disdain for shopping are the numerous 'cards' I now seem to carry. I hate the things, though my wallet is stuffed with them. Every retailer wants you on their mailing list. They want your market research data. They want to boil you down to your buying habits. In return, you get a bit of plastic to carry around with you. In theory, you are also supposed to receive some sort of entitlement. Free food. Coupons. Cheaper stuff. Although that last one beguiles me. It's not really the 'lowest price' if you need a card to get it cheaper.
And don't even get me started on those cards that cost you money. Too late. While I don't believe it is a scam -- you generally do save money as long as you spend x amount of dollars, market research, which is what these cards provide, should be worth the price of admission alone. If a company does charge money, and then they further restrict your ability to use that card, then it's time to move along quietly. Nothing to see here.Companies talk about the consumer buying into the company with the purchase of these cards. If I buy Books-a-Million's card, then I am suddenly loyal to that company. I'm not going to shop at Borders, especially if I haven't gotten the full value out of my Books-a-Million purchase. That's why I DON'T SHOP at Books-a-Million. I'm not paying you to GIVE you market research. It's absurd.
One of the best places that I've found that make these stupid card programs almost worthwhile is the Burrito Card of California Tortilla. Sadly, I don't like a great many of their menu items. It just isn't for me. But, with their card, their silly emails, and the load of free food and stuff I've scuttled off with, I don't mind that bit of plastic weighing me down. It is one of the few places that I DO feel invested in. I want Cal. Tortilla succeed, if only so I can gets me some more Burritos for frees. And no, I didn't pay for the card.
As long as I do most of the shopping, I'll invariably end up with a wallet/keychain full of the stupid things. But, as long as they save me money, and don't cost me money, I'll just grumble, complain, and hand over the bit of plastic I just spent 5 minutes scrounging around for, and be on my merry way. It sure beats shopping at the places that DON'T have cards, like Wal-Mart, that just suck your soul instead.
I'm sure it's just a stage. Otherwise, things could get real interesting when she gets older. But, for now, she believes she is an equal part of the decision-making. Actually, it's a little more complex than that. She believes she is the decision-maker. The difficult part is that she isn't doing it out of ill-intent or spite. She simply doesn't know her place in the family hierarchy. I can't condemn her for doing something she sees Mommy and Daddy do. Where do you want to go for dinner? I don't know? Chipotles? *I wanna go to Chick-Fil-A* No, not tonight. Mommy and Daddy are talking. *No! You are on time-out!* Uh, sweetie, you don't put Mommy and Daddy on time out. I don't think it works that way.
Well, maybe it does. She puts her stuffed animals to bed. Changes their diaper. Feeds them. And disciplines them as needed. I've gotten a few disparaging looks from parents when she recommends nap-time to other kids. I shrug. The kids didn't have to listen. She just likes being in charge. Really, I have no idea what I'm doing.
How common is learning regression in young kids? It seems every time they move one step forward, they will take two steps backward. They'll master one thing, then seemingly forget and have to start over. In my kid's case, it is potty training and social acclimatizing (I thought I made that word up, but it made it through spell-checker). At one point in time, she was 90% potty trained. She wore underwear, she went on her own without prompting, and I was happy and relieved. Now, she'll fight when I tell her to use the potty. She's back in diapers, and the potty seems to be a strange new thing, akin to a discovery made by a Star Trek landing party. And she's wearing the Red Diaper.
Secondly, today, and yesterday, she hit another kid. She's gone weeks without getting up into someone else's grill. Now suddenly, the World is Not Enough. Is there such a thing as regression? Why does it feel like I am stuck in one of those Ground Hog day infinite loops where I gotta teach the same Sesame Street lessons every day? If I wanted to teach the same basic concepts, day after day, I would've become a high-school civics teacher.
Get up. Clean up. Eat breakfast. Stare in a zombiefied state at Nicktoons while cramming down caffeine-laced beverage(s) in a futile attempt to wake up with enough energy to chase after my cute, adorable monster.
The routine is a hard part of raising up my little girl. Especially if she is outgrowing it, or circumstances beyond your control (now referred to as cbyc) force a change. Try moving across an ocean and living in hotel rooms for two+ months while moving house. Major cbyc. Pre-kid, I didn't thing a routine was a wise thing. Children are just like little people. When they are hungry, they'll eat. Tired-sleep. But, it seems like the routine isn't just a good idea for them, as it is a good way to keep up the sanity of the parents. In what state would I be if she didn't have 1pm nap time to look forward too at 10 am?
Sick. That apparently is the answer, as my little girl is in that stage where nap time seems optional. My health as left me while chasing her down. Now to find a routine that involves either earlier bed-time (yeah!) or enough morning activity to trigger afternoon sleepy time, barring cbyc.
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